It’s time to rip off the Band-Aid.

I mentioned it during the doom and gloom post two weeks ago:

I’ve been afraid to leave the security blanket of parking outside a house I’m welcome in, for any amount of time I’d like.

Just because I’ve been sleeping in my van, does not a VanLife make. Not when I have a living room, kitchen, bathroom, and wifi at my disposal as if I were living and paying rent at that house. My sister also pointed that out to me around 5:00am after drinking vodka for the past several hours.

This reason alone, and my own call to other online personalities to live more transparently, is enough to motivate me to leave my comfort zone in the rear view mirror, but there’s even more.

Right before leaving Boulder for the week of Christmas, I was on a very consistent gym routine. I had also been hiking local trails and even made it out to the mountains for a short snowshoe. I thought, “This is what it could be all the time if I weren’t terrified to leave a house full of wifi.”

I was reminded of why I wanted to live in a van in the first place.

I am publishing this on the day I fly back to Colorado. I’m beyond excited. I have huge plans:

• Consistent training for Potrero Chico
• Considerable time in the mountains
  • Including some winter mountaineering and backcountry boarding
• Dropping the Holiday weight
• Many hours of “free time” for working on my own business ambitions
  • Along with new freelance clients (VanLife continues!!)
• READING.
  • I love reading, but when a couch and Amazon Prime are available, why would I choose reading? Now I won’t really have a choice.

Dreams are one thing, reality is another. I have experienced this time and time and time again.

• Think I’m going to travel for a year — end up coming home after 3.5 months.
• Think I’m going to have no problems supporting myself financially — almost close up shop within a year.
• Think I’ll come back from Thailand and immediately start living in my van — end up working on it for 5 weeks in WI and then being too afraid to leave Boulder.

So I’m still not without challenges in front of me. I’ve just been surrounded by my entire family, unlimited wifi, and a gluttonous amount of food and drink for the past 7 days. Of course spending time alone in the mountains and in my van sounds attractive. But I also know that once I open my van door for the first time again, reality is going to smash me in the face like a 250lb. NFL linebacker.

But I think I’m ready for it this time. I really do. By my own convictions, support of amazing friends from around the world (literally), the motivation of new freelance opportunities, and the laser-like focus on getting in the best shape possible for Potrero Chico, now is the time.

Everything will be different now.