Recently, I’ve gone through a lot of stress. And still have a lot of stress in my life.
- I’m unemployed
- Van progress is near zero due to cold weather and adhesives not sticking
- Finding health insurance
- Selling the blue van
- Selling the Subaru
- The guy that was helping me sell those vehicles got lost in the mountains and is presumed dead
- Registering the white van
- On-again / Off-again freelance client as well as other writing engagements
- Applying to new jobs and new clients
- Going back to WI to celebrate Christmas with my family
- Find and meet with a CPA
And of course, the previous stress of being gone for 3.5 out of 5 months this summer while I was still working and losing all climbing ability.
I lost myself.
I wasn’t me anymore.
I wasn’t this guy: Feel Free to be Yourself
So I needed to re-center.
Starting last week when I returned from WI, I made it a point to do so.
It took a mountain bike, snowshoes, and human power. I didn’t summit, but it was still an 8-mile round trip adventure, with 5 miles of biking and 3 miles of breaking trail backcountry, snowshoeing. I turned around because I was alone and encountered some steep terrain that could have been an avalanche risk.
Then, on a complete whim while brushing my teeth one morning, I decided I wanted a tattoo. So I did. And when it was finished, the inspiration for another one to complete the theme came to me.
I’m currently typing this at the end of Day 1 of a 3-day snowboard-fest. It was amazing today. I have never ridden so hard in my life. I was in waist-deep powder all day long. I rode my first double-black bowl at Copper. And I’m going back again for Day 2. Day 3 may or may not be a little backcountry excursion on Loveland Pass. It depends on the avy conditions.
So what about the future?
I’ve recommitted to climbing, fitness, and my body.
I don’t really have the money to spend on a climbing membership, but climbing is part of what makes me, me. As does my body. You can call me superficial if you’d like. Go on. Do it. But staying in shape and performing at high physical levels at all times is very important to me.
Not only that, but I’m going to tell you something you might not have heard before.
Generally speaking, testosterone levels in men have been declining, as a population, for decades. [Source]
And when I’m not lifting or climbing or improving my body, I notice a significant decrease in markers of “manliness.”
By empowering myself physically and fulfilling my needs to be outside in the mountains, pushing my limits, it will no doubt give me the energy and confidence to go after my business and other psychological needs with the same tenacity and see the success that I know I’m capable of.
So what does the ranting and updating of my life have to do with you?
Well, I’m hoping you didn’t read this as just an update. It’s not.
It’s for you.
It’s for you to pull parallels of my life to yours.
If you’re “off,” if you’re not yourself, think about why. All is not lost. You can fix it.
What do you enjoy doing? What makes you, you?
What was going on in your life when you felt like your life couldn’t get any better?
It’s still waiting there for you.
All you have to do is go take it.
It’s yours and it’s waiting for you.